Menses supposed to hit, but it's not here. Temper is getting short, and I'm easily frustrated. Depression starting to hit a little...and full of worries. I am probably postponing my plan about getting my maltese. Btw, I've got it a name...sometime back, it's Fluffy. Well, a few months back me and jQ went to Pet Lovers at holland V, and there was this corner selling doggys' bed. And all these while jQ has been thinking of getting me a little comforter for me in the car, cos I get cold easily but never found the right size. The lady showed us a dog's mattress, which is exactly the same as the comforter I have at home, but perhaps just 1/4 of its size. jQ bought it...and I thought it's meant for our puppy next time. Gosh...it's FOR ME. He's so glad to have found the comforter for me, haa.....and it's meant for DOGS! oh...why did I mention this, cos I realise...the tag on the comforter (dog's sleeping mat to be more precise) says "Fluffy's choice". so this is how I got the name! :) oh......I won't be getting it till Dec, cos I wont be in SG for 2 weeks in Sept, and 2 weeks in Nov....so I don wanna leave my new puppy alone in the hands of potential murderers. :( I think it's best for Fluffy and me.

And..nO more Los Angeles. sigh....now's it's Labuan. For 2 weeks...with ONE guy. How boring can it get? No more Siew Lim lar. now is ronnie. :( What can i do in Labuan with Ronnie? shopping with a guy...erm, are there shopping centres in the first place? k, never mind...mommy just told me to treat it as an experience. ok, jQ boy is here! shall continue next time.

Sometimes, I feel like giving up. Why is dance taking up so much of my time? Why is it that while others meet for dinner, supper, or KTV, I am spending my time dancing, and I can't do all the things that others are doing? Why do I not have time for myself, just to rest and be all alone? Why do I get frustrated over not being able to do a certain dance step and break down and cry?

Some friends ask me to give up dance...which I shook my head immediately. Cos I looked back and thought of why I started dancing both Latin and Ballroom. I realise that last time, I don't have a passion. I didn't want my life to be boring, and colourless. As I started dancing, and as I go along, I forgot why I took up dancing, and life becomes packed with activities. I started to be tired and wanna rest....and do sth meaningful. When I think about it, I realise, I have already found that meaningful something...which when I became exhausted, I find it no longer meaningful. When I imagine life without dance, I decided to continue. I know that even if it meant being v v tired, it's worth it. I think of why I must be tortured in dance, why I can't drink water during practice, why I must persevere when my legs are cramped and are falling apart, I realise, not everyone is blessed to have that "talent" and the chance to step into a competition floor. That "torture" is what sets me apart from the social dancers...this is where I find meaning in the many torture sessions and the things I have given up.

One day, my dance life may come to an end. When I marry, when I have children....when my partner leaves. But, the passion will not die...if I live my life to dance, it doesn't matter if there is no more competitions, but there will still be dance, but in other forms...And before all that happens, I do everything to make this time of my life a memorable one.

Should I say I am smarter nowadays or are the questions too simple? I passed my Final Theory Test ^_______^ Never mind about those people who are rolling their eyes now, but, I've got my passport to my driving license! One more step closer! The driving centres these days are getting real high tech....I was asked to take a seat in front of a terminal and there I was, trying very hard to figure out how on earth I'm going to take my test WITHOUT A KEYBOARD, with minimum movement of my arms, trying to feel the bottom of the table, peeping below hoping to find something I can possibly use to click. ok...laugh your heads off. By now you would figured out how to operate that damn thing. When the guy went "this is a touch screen terminal", I almost fainted, and I could almost imagine myself failing the test that is commencing in 10 min, cos of my stupidity.

Well, that guy was trying very hard to be funny. mm...which I did laugh at his lame jokes la....like "at the end of the test, you will click END TEST. and after 3 sec a big PASS / FAIL will appear on your screen. Please control your emotions and don try to tap everywhere on the screen, hoping that the FAIL will fade. U might like to walk out of the classroom, and the FAIL will self destruct in 20 seconds. After you have passed, go out, turn left and print your results. If you fail, go downstairs, and re-book your test. Even if you print your results, it will not change to PASS..........." and he went on and on.

Thank goodness, I have been exam smart, doing the pass year MCQs comprising of 520 qns for the past 2 days, and only browse through the manual that most ppl will read. Doing the MCQs and memorising the errors I've made proved to be far more effective! Thanks to my instructor who recommended me that bible...hahhaa. oh, I forgot to mention that this old malay dude sitting beside me FAILED the test! I know I am bad la....maybe I should recommend my bible to him? Just let me boast a bit la, cos I FEEEEL that I am getting smarter by the days. heheh...and COnnie says it's ONLY FOR TODAY! Suan me all you can, but I AM PROUD. lala. I love the world.

I have been keeping my opinions about people to myself for quite some time. Or should I say, I am too lazy to think about why certain people think in certain way, or to even narrow our differences. Sometimes, I am being forced to trash things out....thanks for those who initiated. Cos otherwise, I'll remain passive. I don't used to be like that, but I realise always talking about problems doesn't help (and of cos, I don mean that NOT talking about problems means things will be fine by themselves, though sometimes things do!?) hmmm.

Dance: Had a major sms quarrel with Desmond. Or rather, smses only exchanged twice, but I have no energy to argue as to who is right who is wrong. But I realise that both are right. He doesn't view dance, or even competitions as something urgent. When there are other matters coming up, he will put everything on the table and gauge which one needs his attention, and IF dance happens to be "not so urgent" (in his definition), then practice will not take place, and plans have to be made to suit HIS issues. For me, I don EVEN allow matters to arise, cos I have blocked days for the practice, since comp is sooo near. So, it's very seldom that I need to weigh things, cos, the answer is obvious to me in the first place...so no chances are given for other matters to be in the picture. Yup. Therefore, the best solution is not to dance toegther.

The most fundamental element in a partnership is "passion", "aim", "commitment". Partners do quarrel, views on the techniques may differ, but those can be solved, and those are secondary. If the commitment level differs, and we have different goals in dance, there is no need to even discuss on techniques. To me, I want a partnership in which I do not need to worry about whether my partner is putting in effort or not. I OUGHT to trust that he is! I have found that partner...... :) But, my temper is bad. I'll try to change.

Friends: Sometimes, there is no need to always trash things out. It's a feeling. If one talks to the other and receive negative reaction, or spikeful comments, it is only sooner or later that the conversation stops. I need friends who are happy for your achievements, and empathise when you meet with obstacles in life. Friends do not need to meet frequently, but when we do meet, it's a refreshing feeling. I am glad that I do such friends! All the best to my dear friends. Hope that during times when all of us are busy at work, we can remain focus and do your best. When are schedulles do meet, we can cherish the time and catch up with our lives......... The 2 - 3 hours spent with the girls at botanical gardens were short, but happy. Although all of us gota rush for our own activities after that, I'm glad to have spent the time with them.

Okie....I'm gona study for my Final Theory Test. It's gona commence in less than 3 hours!!! byeee

~ 1 more day to 14th June ~

LOVES to jQ.

I'm sooo happy to receive news that Ann and Irene are visiting SG again in October! But, too bad....it doesn't fall within my block leave. Still, lucky that I will still in SG....Nov will be in Jakarta loh! *I hope Siew lim's gg too*

Btw, I am really happy that we can maintain our friendship for these years. I guess it's fate that brought us together. Frankly speaking, I didn't expect this friendship to last, or rather, long distance friendship appeared to be impossible to me in the past. :) But I'm glad I'm proven wrong....I look forward to visiting HK again sometime next year, hopefully for 1 week.

I had a great LONG weekend.

Saturday was spent at the SAF Yacht Club at Tanah Merah with jQ. A beautiful day indeed, although I spent quite some time sitting by myself, playing some silly game on my PDA. jQ had a mini roadshow at the club in the day, so I took the chance to admire the sea, watch the sailors and enjoy the afternoon breeze, while feasting on my bbq chicken wings. Basically I had a lot of time on my own..slightly boring but jQ made time for me now and then, and we'll go to the arcade and walk around the area to "blow wind".

We sneaked into the function hall where the members were holding a 40th birthday for the Yacht Club and had a free buffet in the evening! haha...dono how we got hold of a beer voucher, and re redeemed a glass of Tiger. :) Played the silly 5-10 at one corner of the staircase.... haha

The rest of the night was spent drinking with jQ and his suppliers. Not bad la.I wasn't listening to their conversation at all...was totally in a world of my own, and downing 4 glasses of Tiger. It's been a long time since I last drank. Great...I got high. hahas.

Well....Sunday was great too!! Learnt parallel parking, and I think the instructor almost slapped me. haha, cos I kept staring at him blindly when he says "ok, drive out of the lot" and told him "how huh?". I DID THIS FOR BLOODY 3 TIMES. I can't imagine why my brain was sooooo retarded. It's ok......I succeeded afterall. Then it was latin lesson. I LOVE SAM LA!!!!!! fainted. I am falling in love with me TEACHER! ok. i better stop here else I'll go gaga again. :) 6 lessons, and we finished chacha n jive. This is the first time a teacher tells me my strength. He wants us to recognise our strengths and work on them...honestly, I have nvr asked myself what my strength was, but what are my weaknesses. Darn. I think the reason why I can't improve is that, I have far tooo many weaknesses to work on soo I never saw much improvement. haha. I learnt also not to treat my dance steps as "steps" and "routine", but something else. U noe..."something else" is for one to discover, and not taught. There is a chance of not discovering it afterall though. :) I'll try.

After dance it was time to see my future FLUFFY! jQ and I have decided to get a pedigree maltese, and a mini breed. So it's gona cost $1,800. Though more expensive, it's worth it! Just 1 1/2 more months......and Fluffy's gona join the family. *loves*

*I'm dreaming of u, Fluffy.*

YEE'S WEDDING! 1st JUNE 2006

Childhood friends - sisters...for 11 years, and finally these girls have grown up, and 1st June 2007 marks SISTERZ' 1st wedding. Ah Yee gave her hand to Joe. Sisters promise to be with you always, Yee...we wish you a lasting and blissful marriage, and a life full of love and hope in the your future days.

I woke up at 5am when the alarm went. I have never been so punctual! Yeah...I'm the first to reach yee's house....cos I remember my job, as allocated by dono-which-HR-member, is to be Yee's personal assistant (PA, and this word kept ringing in my ears the whole of yesterday). Sounds good ya? But, according to one sister, it's call, SAI GANG. hahah...and true enough, it was. The morning started with nana, ade, ling and ada preparing the "suan tian ku la" and all other weird food and drinks for the groom. The intelligent me, Shi and Ping cracked our heads thinking of 10 questions to ask the groom. LAST MIN !! We only had like, 15 min? And that was only 645am, and my mind is still in deep sleep. Nah, still questions like "which side of Yee's face is her mole?" "How does she like her cai tao kway cooked?" "what's her bra size" came out in less than 5 min. pooof...... lousy question eh? I know....cos JOE got it all right! Lucky chap. :P

k...the rest of the morning was spent travelling from Taman Jurong to Hougang den to Ponggol, den back to Jurong again. Tea ceremony...photo taking, eating chatting. Nutting can be compared to taking photos la, sisters love it most. At Joe's house, all of us squeezed into the study room and we turned the room into a studio instantaneously, with all our professional poses and photo-shooting. bahz......there was ONE guy, Jimmy sitting quietly at one corner of the room, looking at the crazy sisters frantically changing positions and poses every other second, and Ade loves her "599". hahahah. duh!!! Mine's 599 too.... soo, what's my duty as a PA? It's to carry big plastic bags of dono-wad to and fro, actually, I wonder if one of those many bags happened to belong to other people, who conveniently asked me to longbang, since I am the P--A---. oh, so now do you realise why the photos are ALLLL sisters, instead of the Wedding Event??? :P

Alright, had caught some sleep in the noon, before dolling up again for the second half. The banquet was held at Hilltop Garden Ballroom and Civil Service Club. Willie picked Ling, Ade and me up, and I had a terrible experience with my silicon bra, a.k.a chicken breast. I have learnt that we have to BINGO (i.e. put it on right for the first time. NO MISTAKE ALLOWED) if you don wan your chicken breast to slip. Oh, how I hate it. So, the car ride was hilarious, with me showing Ade my armpit, asking if there is HAIR. hahahah....totally irritating. And, th rest of the time, discussing about the chicken breast (ADE named it!). Damn, and Ade told her me nipple sticker is also made of silicon and is in the shape of A FLOWER! and i asked to see it. :( ok, enough of this censored talk.

Anyways, dinner was fun...but stressful. I had to keep my eyes on the bride, since I have to "take action" every time she stands up. COS, it means, I've got to go to the bridal room to do her hair, touch up, and help in her gown. and, i wonder WHY the second march-in had to be THAT time, and I had to leave when shark's fin was served. And experience ppl know that the bride's table will be served first right, so Yee finished her shark's fin BEFORE MINE WAS EVEN SERVED! So, now, i can't remember how my shark's fin tasted...cos I gobbled down the entire bowl in less than 2 min. and SOME VERY CLEVER GUY pass me the soya sauce instead of vinegar. THANK YOU. never mind.

Ade was a real entertainer. She performed the male and female parts of "ni zui zhen gui" and the whole table went crazy. Ping video-ed it down, and one day I shall post it!!! :) ooo...and ADE and NANA were the emcees for the night, and I must say they did a great job! Ade's mandarin is soooooooooo sexy la. darn...the more she tries to be serious, the funnier it gets. The night ended with more photo-taking. I'm glad things went smoothly, and each sister played her part well. We did all these for our beloved Yee...and again, Yee, WE LOVE U! and happy ever after.......