And yesterday, I had a "farewell" dinner with HJ. She will be leaving for Shanghai in a week's time. :) It is more of a happy occasion than the usual "feel-so-sad" thingy. It is definitely a wise choice that she has made...as I remember how sometimes, I wish to be "re-born" and have a brand new life.

So, we had Ma La. I drove to Bugis... :) This funny Shenhong had nothing to do that night and called us for help...so we decided to be kind and allow him to join us. haha. It was quite a nice dinner actually. After which we shopped a little...and I drove to Villa Bali. Cool rite......but the not-so-cool thing is that I LOST MY DAMN WAY. I could actually drove from Bugis to Orchard to Tiong Bahru and to some ulu u-dono-where estate, before i finally saw the big sign saying "AYE to Keppel". :P

All the best, and whatever it is, enjoy life, and the little ups and downs that accompany it.

ok, today is twin's bdae celebration.
AND...I was invited...AND...I am not turning up...AND...i feel bad...AND....this is so unlike me.
urgh...
haha...I'm sure twin hates me now. She told me that on the phone. :P
Shall tell twin this:
I have never attended any function whom I don't know ANYONE!! haha...I know this sounds weird, but somehow...I feel SHY. SHY!!!

But twin is important.
:P
So...I agreed to go....yesterday...but! now...little miss fickle decides that she feels too SHY to attend.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to u!!!
And I shall give u a treat to WHATEVER you like to eat. I mean really WHATEVER u wan! hahaah...cos Jen is rich. BUAAHA.

:)

有时候爱情真的很矛盾。。。
是该坦诚相对，还是该保持一定的距离？
不顾对方感受而所说出的真心话，算不算是愚昧的坦白？
倘若不这样，又算不算是戴着假面具对待一断感情？
究竟该用什么样的方式， 才能既不伤害对方， 又能说出自己的肺腑之言？
我对于这方面真的感到很费解

对待一断未来的婚姻, 是否真的有朋友们所谓的标准?
每段感情都不一样, 那么, 又为什么要为了所谓的标准来衡量这段感情呢?
我在想, 到底是什么时候开始, 爱情已经在他人的标准下变得如此虚伪
爱情是不是真的有如他们所说的, 必须按部就班地进行呢?
一旦次序搞乱了, 就该感到懊恼吗?
这样的感情太幼稚了
我想, 爱情不能做比较

我有多久的时间没有以真心对待自己?
周围的一切, 是否真的让我失去了自我?
现在的我, 有时候觉得好累
在重重的压力下, 我还能是从前的我吗?
成长是不是会使人变得虚伪, 恶毒...
而对待原本纯真的爱情, 也必须像在职场上一般, 变得勾心斗角吗?

我好想找到人生的平衡点
我不想再用世间的标准作为自己的标准了
因为这样真的好累, 但若不这样, 我是不是又会落后于他人呢?
????

It's scary how time flies & here we are at the end of May 08 already! Half a year just zoomed past...and I wonder if it's a good or bad thing, so far 08 has been rather monotonous....no rollar coaster rides. The only changes are, I guess, are that (i) I have a new Latin partner? A new teacher? And so far so good. (ii) I got a new house? (iii) I get to know some friends much much better than b4? hmmm...wonder why I am blogging about this though. haa.

SO, yesterday was a work-out day. Work up only at noon, and we headed to Vivo planet fitness...as usual did 3 km run, leg and back muscles exercises. I think my running's getting better, cos I can control my breathing better now. After that, it was a little shopping at Vivo, where I got this super tight / short / maid-looking like shorts from Forever 21. hahaaaa...it is only meant for dancing la. So if u happen to see me in that, pls don laugh. Den it was early dinner at Fong Seng, & then the weekly run with Fluffy at NUS! He is so happy chasing birds on the football field... :) And at the end of the session he was so exhausted that he just lay flat on the grass and refused to move. haha... Ended the day with practice at West Coast. Hmm, dance itself was ok. BUT, we met a mad woman...and I shall not say much, trying hard to forget the incident. Urgh.

Ok....for the moment, bye~

It's Friday night again! I have fully recovered..and I am back to my cheerful, confident, positive self again. :) Today jQ msged me to tell me that our home loan has been approved. A few days back, there was a letter telling us that the grant has been credited into our account too...that means our home matter has been fully settled.

Just back from k with twin. 1st time, but yeah...fun session! The songs we sing are all familiar to us, and 4 hrs actually pass quite quickly yeh, and we had un-sang songs still at the end of the session. haha. *ok, I am suddenly very hungry. Regret not having supper*

Coming back to a peaceful home feels so good. I didn't know how to appreciate this until recently...seeing Fluffy playing at one corner of my room feels so good. ^_^ Work has been good, except for some last minute arrow from HK. Argh...but at the end of the day, I felt satisfied that I was able to resolve the issues. I am feeling good about this. I guess, keeping a positive mind is really important.

Random-ness again...I feel like eating Ma La now. As in now. ok. i think ma la instant noodles bah~ :(

Let me see, what should I do tml? SLeep in bah I guess... hehz. goodnight all~

I think I am better now. :)

Thanks....I read ur blog. I guess if happiness = reality, no matter what happens, happiness is still yours.

My fluff really makes my day.

He's just so adorable....and well, he is now 1 year & 5 days old! hee...

*btw, tt was mom's bdae...*

oh, I got my nails painted Barbie pink. Haha. Been wanting to get this colour but afraid that I may look auntie but it turns out just fine! Maybe being with twin gives me better luck? :P I wonder if twin's mani and pedi looks gd too.

Went gym-ing awhile ago with jQ and frend Michael. Now my back is aching...so are my abdominal muscles and thighs....it's okie...just keep me in shape. :) Goodnight~

I guess I shall not update till ...

- family issue is clear
- life goes back to normal

ultimately....when my mind is clear and am ready to set off again.

It won't take long, just a few days...cos I know I can do it. At some points in life, things get really messy and you become blinded and I guess the worst feeling is to lose control of yourself...losing yourself...in the midst of changes around you.

For a start, I will need some peace, at work, and at home.
If I can be transparent to all, I wish I could tell each and everyone of you that my priority in life is to be happy, and true to myself...there are more important things than to be involved in meangingless mind games.

My eyes are swollen from the many hours of tears.
Is it a misunderstanding? Did I wrong her...I hope I did. And all I should feel is guilt.
How can I tell her that we miss her? That we miss the old her...?
How can I put it across to her that we just hope she gives us more attention....and more love.

I remember, she was the most important person in my life.
No matter how old I am now, and how much changes there are in my life, I am still that same girl at heart.

I wonder what makes her change so much. What makes me so unimportant anymore. In the past, when we don't celebrate her birthday, I am sure she will be upset. Now, she would rather forego that day....and do other things that she deems more important. What are we to her now?

When I talk to u, did you listen to me?
When I have problems, do you want to know?
When I am worried about us, for everyone, why do you think that I am irritating you?

If I could turn back time, I wish I can go back to those days when all of us were so close.

Finally, today is our department's Community Day which is organised by me, Wanlin and Celine. I must say that through this event, I realise that the three of us can work very very well together. No quarrels, no disagreements...but fun and laughter, especially yesterday when we spent the entire afternoon packing the little gifts for the less privileged children. :)


I was also very happy to see our volunteers putting their heart into this event. The children were not easy to handle, some are hyper active, some don't open up...and our volunteers were very patient....They really did a good job.

The only part that made me slightly disappointed was that some people asked us why we did not join in to help the children, and asked if for the entire session we were outside the zoo. We could not join in because as organisers, it does not make practical sense to be assigned to the kids when we had to leave the zoo at different times of the day to do the logistics....we had to be focused in making sure the people stick to the timing, food comes on time, and bring the food to the show place. But I don't really blame them cos most often than not, people don't see what is behind the scene. As long as there are people who appreciate us, I guess everything is worth it.

At the end of this, I realise, it doesn't matter if a child doesn't get A's in school....all that matters is that they are healthy and normal....

Last but not least, I thank my twin for making this event an enjoyable one. :) I thank Celine too for doing so much in putting this event together. I am a happy girl today... Now, some pix.

Me cynthia and doreen

Me and Wanlin with our exchanged shades

The girls....i luv this pic

The 2nd one from the left is my boss...nice chap. He really impressed me.

I tell you, I've been eyeing this COW. But i just can't get up on its back laaaa...

AND!!! I am not allowed to post this...but twin looks so CUTE RITE!

Yesterday dance was like shit, if there is anything worse than shit...After the comp, my mind went blank. Fortunately we had lessons today, and Annie corrected our body...and moving of the "centre", which I know that we were lacking. Ok, things to work on again.

Weather is sooooooo terrible. So scorching that the whole body becomes lethargic. Rested in the studio after lesson for 2 hours, can u imagine, sitting there doing nth for 2 hrs? See what a turn-off the weather is. Then had late lunch with Ranie and Louis. Poor Eugene sprained his back during his standing broad jump. Haa...dono whether to laugh or not to. :P

Wells, not practising tonight. Gg hotpot at Bugis in an hr. Bye~

Hoorray, happy labour day! I can really appreciate a break from work, in any form... :) Though I just went on block leave. Finally brought Fluffy to East Coast Park for the day. It was really good...the sky and the sea were exceptionally blue today. Really beautiful.

Here are the pics! Fluffy had his dinner outdoors today. hehe.

Before setting off!

Fluff at ECP...

See? It's sooo beautiful!

Had Seoul Garden for dinner. Can't remember when was the last time I had that. Dinner was good too...I wish everyday can be so relaxing and spent with loved ones.